Baby TJ

Oh, the dutiful pain of eating for two, and then having to push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon. What could be better than having a new baby?! Everyone loves babies. That is... everyone but me, and my four year old niece. I don't like them because I think I'll break them. She doesn't like them because, like all older childhood siblings, she doesn't get as much attention.

The new baby is her brother, TJ. Welcome to the world, little one, just don't anyone get close to putting him in my hands, I might spontaneously combust. However, hand me a margarita, and I'll spontaneously start smiling at suddenly attractive strangers. I prefer the latter to the former.

Apparently, he looks like me when I was born - with long black hair smothered all over his little head. I still haven't seen him, since I have this natural, and rational fear of flames erupting from my pores. My mom has seen TJ, however.

While visiting my sister in the hospital, Mumsy Hyphenatie was crooning over the little guy, admiring his closed eyes and little mouth. She exuberantly remarks, "He's so handsome!" My niece, Little S, looks up, face covered with dismay and says, "He's NOT HANDSOME! He has NO TEETH!" Little S then lets out a room vibrating laugh and toddles over to the group. Apparently, Little S is becoming more rambunctious around everyone since she's starved for attention since people now look at and talk about baby TJ in front of her. Life must be really hard.

Now, on the other hand, kids grow up. Even tho parents and grandparents usually love their kids and grand kids without bounds, reality eventually sets in. GoAskAlice sent me a text message the other day. She said, "You know how people talk about their kids and croon over them even when they're ugly? My mom used to do that. Now my mom says, 'You used to be so cute, what happened?' She doesn't play." Ah... remind me to never have kids, and if I do... to be a little more gracious with my words. Just keep the babies away from me.