Infamous words to be wary of: "I made a new friend today." Now, depending on the situation, those can be the most horrifying blend of words a parent can hear dribble out of a child's smiling mouth. Or, the parent can smile and ask, "Oh really? Tell me more." Thankfully, I'm not a parent. But... I did make a new friend the other day, so consider me a kid.
Meet Curly, a slender, 6'1", happy-go-lucky immigrant from India. Having moved to the Phoenix area from Kansas, he focuses his skill in the IT field. Because he's from so far away and lives on the skirts of civilization (instead of downtown), he has not made many friends in the past two years. He likens the reasons for not meeting other Phoenicians to the insurmountable wall of desert heat that suffocates his voice anywhere but outside the air conditioned confines of his house. As we all know... "If you don't go out, you can't have them come in!"
Besides his fingers and hands, Curly doesn't get much cardio. Being the self-proclaimed athlete I am, I invite him on a short walk. The leisurely stroll gives him a side cramp, seemingly from uncontrollable heavy breathing due to excessive overexertion. Who knew? He's a good soldier though, and sucks it up. Becoming hungry, I suggest we go to the grocery store.
After leaving the grocer, we're at a stop light waiting to turn. Curly tells me about his colorful culture, from Bollywood films, to the interesting 3-somes he becomes involved in, to the 28 languages of his homeland, to the intricacies of the IT department. He asks me what my heritage is. I respond, "I'm Native American and European." Driving forward, he responds without a second thought, "Oh. Well, I'm Indian." Not missing a beat, I glance over, "Oh, really?! That's wonderful. I always wondered what you call people from India!" I raise my index finger and shake it, continuing, "I'll have to remember that one." We both laugh at the absurdity of the moment and arrive at our destination.
At the dinner table, Muscle Calves and CW join us. CW works in IT as well. "So, you're from India, huh? Didn't you kind of do it backward?" The table looks in puzzlement at CW. He continues, "Well, I mean, you know, all of our jobs are going over there, and you came over here." Muscle Calves blinks, then squints in disapproval at CW. CW goes on, "So, do you ever have to call Tech Support?" I laugh loudly and cut in, "No. What happens is he calls, they hear his accent and say, 'Holy sh*t, we have a live one on the line! Hurry, route him to an American!'" The table bursts into laughter.
CW picks up a cup full of Juniper berries and asks Muscle Calves what they're used for. Muscle Calves exasperatingly explains to him what it's for. "Well, how do you know this," CW rebuttals. "Because I've read about it and researched it. Duh." Raising my right arm in the kitchen, I add, "And because I'm Native American. I know all about nuts and berries. Curly wouldn't tho; he's not the right kind of Indian." Like a lightning bolt, it occurs to me: India Indians own 7-11's and hotels. American Indians own casino's.
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